HomeGuard

By Keyser soze

First half

These fine men. These fine bunch of men, well and some chicks I guess. It was Sunday the 27th of October, and the occaision was the Sisters In Arms squaring off against HomeGuards finest. We found ourselves in Southern France 1944, fighting for the very land itself. The despised Allies facing us were Mistress, BlaqueSilk, Sweet Sue, Skidz and Nutcracker. Defending the HG honour was Helmut, Ax, the Kaptain, Neon and SAM. Yes my friends, it was not long before we would realise that Sweet Sue wasn't so sweet after all, BlaqueSilk was not so soft to the touch and we soon learnt how Nutcracker got her name. I must admit to a strange 'airy' feeling at the start of the game - perhaps it was because we agreed that this match would be played naked (you others all got your clothes of right?). Nevertheless confidence could be found in looking at my fellow HG brothers, if not between my legs.

This was to be TDM play, somewhat unfamiliar to most of HG. However as I was getting some practice in over the last few days I did notice a few other HGers in there as well, so I knew all was not lost and clearly we knew the challenge ahead. The game kicked off on Sadu's command and Helmut got cut to ribbons by Nutcrackers SMG, not once but twice my friends, it was an un-nerving sight to see our glorious leader go down like a sack of spuds - hmmm french fries, woops where was I? Thats right, SIA got off to a cracking start with smoke trails and tracer flying everywhere and HG were soon on the back foot. No one was taking SIA lightly and brothers in arms were starting to turn to each other, doubt visible in their eyes. It was then that Ax made a desperate suicidial run and quickly put paid to three of the Sisters that had been hammering our positions. With new found confidence the tide of battle was slowly turning. It was ugly my friends, human nature at it's most basic - fight or flight - around every corner waited death, or at the very least an angry female. Previous HG experience in these sort of battles proved the difference between the two teams. After bloody encounters with K3 and Clown we managed to draw on that experience to hang in and take out the map. Ax was to the forefront on this map for the HomeGuard with a 17/6 kill/death ratio and for SIA it was Nutcracker 14/14 and Mistress 12/7.
SCORE (KILLS/DEATHS) - HOMEGUARD 61/50 SIA 47/64 WINNER - HG

It was onto the Destroyed village. To this day they still talk about that afternoon in the village. You ask the old HomeGuarders what happened and they seem vague or change the subject - it's like they're in a daze or in some other time that never existed. They say thats where Ax got the Thousand Yard Stare. They talk of ghosts, and HG mothers tell their children not to play around there. Yeah, thats what they say, but we know know better - don't we. I shit you not when I say this was without a doubt the finest example of teamwork and tactics I have ever seen on MOHAA. Unfortunately it wasn't by the HomeGuard. On this map SIA beat us up and threw us out. Often working in teams of two or three and with the right weapons for the job they completely out-thought and out-played us. Our SMG's and go-alone tactics were no match for concentrated firepower and teamwork. It was a complete team effort from SIA with everyone on the plus side, Nutcracker topping the charts at 20/13, and for HG only SAM was really able to come out on the right side of the ledger with 15/10
SCORE (KILLS/DEATHS) - HOMEGUARD 44/61 SIA 57/48 WINNER - SIA

Off to Remagen. HomeGuard was missing the Rat of Remagen (RATBO), who had mysteriously come down with some sort of poisoning after last seen being taken out to diner by Skidz. NB In a later unrelated search, Skidz was found to have an empty container of Rat poison in her purse. Of cse the more imaginitive might link these two seemingly innocent incidents and make someting more sinister of it but we here at HG hate to speculate on rumour and innuendo. Even without the Rat we were able to assert some dominance on this map, with Helmut and his Shotgun running riot clocking up 24/10 and Skidz producing a solid 14/13 effort.
SCORE (KILLS/DEATHS) - HOMEGUARD 71/42 SIA 35/78 WINNER - HG

Onto the more familiar Crossroads where the HG Objective addicts got a chance to show their skills off. Our hours of dedication on this map paid off and it was pretty much one way traffic. Again Helmut tore the SIA to shreds with 17/4 and for SIA BlaqueSilk managed 5/10 in dificult circumstances (and with a huge ping!)
SCORE (KILLS/DEATHS) - HOMEGUARD 47/28 SIA 24/51 WINNER - HG

Onto my personal favourite (yes feel the sarcasm oozing from my words) and it was Snowy Park time. It is fair to say that if I ever met the bloke who created this map I'd give him six of the best, trousers down (lashings you fools). I'm picking the rest of HG sorta feel the same way because again we got defeated with the exact same tactics employed by SIA from the Deserted Village. (why the didnt do the same in Remagen still remains a mystery - perhaps they were feeling guilty about the Rat!). I could dress this up a bit and put in a few cliches like 'we tried' and 'there was this one time at band camp' but the truth is we just sucked and this was reflected on the scoreboard. Neon was the best for HG with 13/11 and for SIA the terrible twosome of Mistress 13/5 and Skidz 10/5 topped the leaderboard but again the whole SIA team contributed to put down the HG.
SCORE (KILLS/DEATHS) - HOMEGUARD 35/44 SIA 40/39 WINNER - SIA

To the cold bitter streets of Stalingrad, where with little supplies, we had to face SIA fresh from our defeat at Snowy Park. Our close quarter skills won the day for us here, Hauptman Helmut and Unterfeldwebel Kokmaster lead from the front as we sent in 4th Platoon to spearhead our attack. With excellent back-up from the Long Range Reconnaissance Group we were able to stamp out the SIA come-back that was on everybody's mind. As you would expect it was tough, brutal combat and a close thing in the end. Helmut lead for us with 18/11 and for SIA it was Skidz with 12/8.
SCORE (KILLS/DEATHS) - HOMEGUARD 45/49 SIA 39/55 WINNER - HG

Off to the African continent and Algiers. Again we wondered if the wide open spaces would play into SIA's hands. Another close battle ensued, and the match ebbed and flowed with the customary late finish from HG seeing us home safely. For HG yours truly chimed in with 14/9 (as opposed to the 5/14 I got in the second round - hehe), and Skidz outplayed us all with a 13/5 tally.
SCORE (KILLS/DEATHS) - HOMEGUARD 51/45 SIA 39/57 WINNER - HG

HALF-TIME TALLY - HOMEGUARD +35 KILLS SIA -111 KILLS
HOMEGUARD LEADING 5-2

Second half

SIA requested a break at half time to go fix their make up (altho why you need to do that when your playing naked still puzzles me to this very day). HomeGuard took the oppourtunity of this break for a quick conference call and we worked out a new strategy with which to attack SIA. HomeGuard swapped over to the good guys and SIA took up their rightful position as ruthless killing machines for the Fuhrer.

Right. Back to Southern France and a bit more composure this time saw the action settle somewhat, and it must be said that without Helmuts outstanding contibution SIA would have easily won this map. For the HG it was Helmut with 26/5 and daylight second and for SIA Nutcracker again performed well with 14/12 (methinks she likes Southern France - ahhh the wine, the language, the romance, the memories).
SCORE (KILLS/DEATHS) - HOMEGUARD 50/43 SIA 40/53 WINNER - HG

Once more unto the breech dear friends - yes back to the village. Helmut came up with a brilliant idea - "why don't we employ some tactics so we don't get whipped again" - this seemed to go down pretty well with the rest of the guys. So Helmut issued the order to stick in pairs and also made sure we had a plentyful supply of rockets and some sniper cover. This appeared to give us a slight edge in what was again a very hard fought map that could of gone either way. Helmut, relishing the chance to be free of clothes it seems, again was at the forefront with 26/13. Nutcracker continued her excellent form to beat all comers 22/8.
SCORE (KILLS/DEATHS) - HOMEGUARD 55/54 SIA 51/58 WINNER - HG

Remagen. History repeated itself here although the victory wasn't quite as convincing. Kokmaster chimed in with 17/10, and who else but Nutcracker with 23/19
SCORE (KILLS/DEATHS) - HOMEGUARD 77/65 SIA 59/83 WINNER - HG

See you at the Crossroads, and we did. This time SIA seemed more prepared for what we had to throw at them - G-strings and push-up bra's, with that plan foiled we decided to just play the game. A much closer match this one. I managed to grab 14/5 and Nutcracker got 15/10 and a solid effort from Ballbreaker of 7/8 (is it just me or does eveyrone else feel uncomfortable when they hear these names
SCORE (KILLS/DEATHS) - HOMEGUARD 37/33 SIA 31/40 WINNER - HG

Seeings the Snowy Park was so much fun the first time we decided to play it again. Call it Bizzarro World or call it Freaky Sunday but we actually managed to win this time in another round of intense fighting. I chipped away with 17/6 and SIA had valuable contributions from Nutcracker 13/8 and Miss<<BOO>> 9/6.
SCORE (KILLS/DEATHS) - HOMEGUARD 37/31 SIA 29/39 WINNER - HG

Onto Stalingrad and this was a real tight battle. SIA managed to nullify much of our close quarter advantage with some excellent play from all team members. In the end we just scraped in. An all round effort from HG and for SIA a standout effort from Skidz with 11/6 and Funkymonkey with 12/12. This also marked the appearance of Selt on the side-line - bringing up fresh supplies of Heinekken and FHM's.
SCORE (KILLS/DEATHS) - HOMEGUARD 52/57 SIA 50/59 WINNER - HG

It was back to the last map and to Algiers. I think everyone was relieved to see this map. The battles had been intense, and the blood, so much blood. Yet no one was about to let their guard slip for the last map and pride was on the line. Again another incredibly close battle that could have gone either way. Great contribtuions from Selt 13/7 and God 12/7 probably winning us the map. Again Mistress showed her expertise on this map with a fine 14/11 and everyone else in SIA contibuting solidly.
SCORE (KILLS/DEATHS) - HOMEGUARD 61/62 SIA 57/66 WINNER - HG

HALF-TIME TALLY HOMEGUARD +35 KILLS SIA-111 KILLS HG 5-2
2ND HALF HOMEGUARD +32 KILLS SIA -81 KILLS HG 7-0

OVERALL RESULT HOMEGUARD WINS 12-2

Well despite the scoreline there were some very close battles that literally could have gone either way. No one in HG underestimated SIA and we got the match we were expecting. It was played in the best of spirits, and everyone contributed positively to the overall game. Again if I haven't mentioned everyone - sorry - I have a hard enough time remembering if I've got work tomorrow (note to self - check if you have work tomorrow). Seriously, on behalf of HG - thanks very much SIA. I'm sure I speak for everyone when I say it was a pleasure to play you and I wish more people would play with your sort of ethics (ie get on and play the game without abusing people or trying to annoy them!). A special thanks to Mistress for organising your team - nice to see you guys had better support than we did! Thanks to Ax for Consoling - it also explains why you dissappeared on me! Also a HUGE thanks to Sadu for his time and his server. Without the server this would have been a whole lot harder and a whole lot less enjoyable

Later all

Soze

{SIA} thank Keyser soze for our match report with Home Gaurd! We also would like to thank the Home Gaurd boys for a most enjoyable nights gaming, also a very big thanks to all the {SIA}girls for their spirit and deication in Battle!!

{SIA} would like to give a very big thank you to Sadu for giving a night up and also for administering the server!!


				*SIA Clan* *HomeGuard*



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		By Keyser soze First half These fine men. These fine bunch of men, well and some chicks I guess. It was Sunday the 27th of October, and the occaision was the Sisters In Arms squaring off against HomeGuards finest. We found ourselves in Southern France 1944, fighting for the very land itself. The despised Allies facing us were Mistress, BlaqueSilk, Sweet Sue, Skidz and Nutcracker. Defending the HG honour was Helmut, Ax, the Kaptain, Neon and SAM. Yes my friends, it was not long before we would realise that Sweet Sue wasn't so sweet after all, BlaqueSilk was not so soft to the touch and we soon learnt how Nutcracker got her name. I must admit to a strange 'airy' feeling at the start of the game - perhaps it was because we agreed that this match would be played naked (you others all got your clothes of right?). Nevertheless confidence could be found in looking at my fellow HG brothers, if not between my legs. This was to be TDM play, somewhat unfamiliar to most of HG. However as I was getting some practice in over the last few days I did notice a few other HGers in there as well, so I knew all was not lost and clearly we knew the challenge ahead. The game kicked off on Sadu's command and Helmut got cut to ribbons by Nutcrackers SMG, not once but twice my friends, it was an un-nerving sight to see our glorious leader go down like a sack of spuds - hmmm french fries, woops where was I? Thats right, SIA got off to a cracking start with smoke trails and tracer flying everywhere and HG were soon on the back foot. No one was taking SIA lightly and brothers in arms were starting to turn to each other, doubt visible in their eyes. It was then that Ax made a desperate suicidial run and quickly put paid to three of the Sisters that had been hammering our positions. With new found confidence the tide of battle was slowly turning. It was ugly my friends, human nature at it's most basic - fight or flight - around every corner waited death, or at the very least an angry female. Previous HG experience in these sort of battles proved the difference between the two teams. After bloody encounters with K3 and Clown we managed to draw on that experience to hang in and take out the map. Ax was to the forefront on this map for the HomeGuard with a 17/6 kill/death ratio and for SIA it was Nutcracker 14/14 and Mistress 12/7. SCORE (KILLS/DEATHS) - HOMEGUARD 61/50 SIA 47/64 WINNER - HG It was onto the Destroyed village. To this day they still talk about that afternoon in the village. You ask the old HomeGuarders what happened and they seem vague or change the subject - it's like they're in a daze or in some other time that never existed. They say thats where Ax got the Thousand Yard Stare. They talk of ghosts, and HG mothers tell their children not to play around there. Yeah, thats what they say, but we know know better - don't we. I shit you not when I say this was without a doubt the finest example of teamwork and tactics I have ever seen on MOHAA. Unfortunately it wasn't by the HomeGuard. On this map SIA beat us up and threw us out. Often working in teams of two or three and with the right weapons for the job they completely out-thought and out-played us. Our SMG's and go-alone tactics were no match for concentrated firepower and teamwork. It was a complete team effort from SIA with everyone on the plus side, Nutcracker topping the charts at 20/13, and for HG only SAM was really able to come out on the right side of the ledger with 15/10 SCORE (KILLS/DEATHS) - HOMEGUARD 44/61 SIA 57/48 WINNER - SIA Off to Remagen. HomeGuard was missing the Rat of Remagen (RATBO), who had mysteriously come down with some sort of poisoning after last seen being taken out to diner by Skidz. NB In a later unrelated search, Skidz was found to have an empty container of Rat poison in her purse. Of cse the more imaginitive might link these two seemingly innocent incidents and make someting more sinister of it but we here at HG hate to speculate on rumour and innuendo. Even without the Rat we were able to assert some dominance on this map, with Helmut and his Shotgun running riot clocking up 24/10 and Skidz producing a solid 14/13 effort. SCORE (KILLS/DEATHS) - HOMEGUARD 71/42 SIA 35/78 WINNER - HG Onto the more familiar Crossroads where the HG Objective addicts got a chance to show their skills off. Our hours of dedication on this map paid off and it was pretty much one way traffic. Again Helmut tore the SIA to shreds with 17/4 and for SIA BlaqueSilk managed 5/10 in dificult circumstances (and with a huge ping!) SCORE (KILLS/DEATHS) - HOMEGUARD 47/28 SIA 24/51 WINNER - HG Onto my personal favourite (yes feel the sarcasm oozing from my words) and it was Snowy Park time. It is fair to say that if I ever met the bloke who created this map I'd give him six of the best, trousers down (lashings you fools). I'm picking the rest of HG sorta feel the same way because again we got defeated with the exact same tactics employed by SIA from the Deserted Village. (why the didnt do the same in Remagen still remains a mystery - perhaps they were feeling guilty about the Rat!). I could dress this up a bit and put in a few cliches like 'we tried' and 'there was this one time at band camp' but the truth is we just sucked and this was reflected on the scoreboard. Neon was the best for HG with 13/11 and for SIA the terrible twosome of Mistress 13/5 and Skidz 10/5 topped the leaderboard but again the whole SIA team contributed to put down the HG. SCORE (KILLS/DEATHS) - HOMEGUARD 35/44 SIA 40/39 WINNER - SIA To the cold bitter streets of Stalingrad, where with little supplies, we had to face SIA fresh from our defeat at Snowy Park. Our close quarter skills won the day for us here, Hauptman Helmut and Unterfeldwebel Kokmaster lead from the front as we sent in 4th Platoon to spearhead our attack. With excellent back-up from the Long Range Reconnaissance Group we were able to stamp out the SIA come-back that was on everybody's mind. As you would expect it was tough, brutal combat and a close thing in the end. Helmut lead for us with 18/11 and for SIA it was Skidz with 12/8. SCORE (KILLS/DEATHS) - HOMEGUARD 45/49 SIA 39/55 WINNER - HG Off to the African continent and Algiers. Again we wondered if the wide open spaces would play into SIA's hands. Another close battle ensued, and the match ebbed and flowed with the customary late finish from HG seeing us home safely. For HG yours truly chimed in with 14/9 (as opposed to the 5/14 I got in the second round - hehe), and Skidz outplayed us all with a 13/5 tally. SCORE (KILLS/DEATHS) - HOMEGUARD 51/45 SIA 39/57 WINNER - HG HALF-TIME TALLY - HOMEGUARD +35 KILLS SIA -111 KILLS HOMEGUARD LEADING 5-2 Second half SIA requested a break at half time to go fix their make up (altho why you need to do that when your playing naked still puzzles me to this very day). HomeGuard took the oppourtunity of this break for a quick conference call and we worked out a new strategy with which to attack SIA. HomeGuard swapped over to the good guys and SIA took up their rightful position as ruthless killing machines for the Fuhrer. Right. Back to Southern France and a bit more composure this time saw the action settle somewhat, and it must be said that without Helmuts outstanding contibution SIA would have easily won this map. For the HG it was Helmut with 26/5 and daylight second and for SIA Nutcracker again performed well with 14/12 (methinks she likes Southern France - ahhh the wine, the language, the romance, the memories). SCORE (KILLS/DEATHS) - HOMEGUARD 50/43 SIA 40/53 WINNER - HG Once more unto the breech dear friends - yes back to the village. Helmut came up with a brilliant idea - "why don't we employ some tactics so we don't get whipped again" - this seemed to go down pretty well with the rest of the guys. So Helmut issued the order to stick in pairs and also made sure we had a plentyful supply of rockets and some sniper cover. This appeared to give us a slight edge in what was again a very hard fought map that could of gone either way. Helmut, relishing the chance to be free of clothes it seems, again was at the forefront with 26/13. Nutcracker continued her excellent form to beat all comers 22/8. SCORE (KILLS/DEATHS) - HOMEGUARD 55/54 SIA 51/58 WINNER - HG Remagen. History repeated itself here although the victory wasn't quite as convincing. Kokmaster chimed in with 17/10, and who else but Nutcracker with 23/19 SCORE (KILLS/DEATHS) - HOMEGUARD 77/65 SIA 59/83 WINNER - HG See you at the Crossroads, and we did. This time SIA seemed more prepared for what we had to throw at them - G-strings and push-up bra's, with that plan foiled we decided to just play the game. A much closer match this one. I managed to grab 14/5 and Nutcracker got 15/10 and a solid effort from Ballbreaker of 7/8 (is it just me or does eveyrone else feel uncomfortable when they hear these names SCORE (KILLS/DEATHS) - HOMEGUARD 37/33 SIA 31/40 WINNER - HG Seeings the Snowy Park was so much fun the first time we decided to play it again. Call it Bizzarro World or call it Freaky Sunday but we actually managed to win this time in another round of intense fighting. I chipped away with 17/6 and SIA had valuable contributions from Nutcracker 13/8 and Miss<<BOO>> 9/6. SCORE (KILLS/DEATHS) - HOMEGUARD 37/31 SIA 29/39 WINNER - HG Onto Stalingrad and this was a real tight battle. SIA managed to nullify much of our close quarter advantage with some excellent play from all team members. In the end we just scraped in. An all round effort from HG and for SIA a standout effort from Skidz with 11/6 and Funkymonkey with 12/12. This also marked the appearance of Selt on the side-line - bringing up fresh supplies of Heinekken and FHM's. SCORE (KILLS/DEATHS) - HOMEGUARD 52/57 SIA 50/59 WINNER - HG It was back to the last map and to Algiers. I think everyone was relieved to see this map. The battles had been intense, and the blood, so much blood. Yet no one was about to let their guard slip for the last map and pride was on the line. Again another incredibly close battle that could have gone either way. Great contribtuions from Selt 13/7 and God 12/7 probably winning us the map. Again Mistress showed her expertise on this map with a fine 14/11 and everyone else in SIA contibuting solidly. SCORE (KILLS/DEATHS) - HOMEGUARD 61/62 SIA 57/66 WINNER - HG HALF-TIME TALLY HOMEGUARD +35 KILLS SIA-111 KILLS HG 5-2 2ND HALF HOMEGUARD +32 KILLS SIA -81 KILLS HG 7-0 OVERALL RESULT HOMEGUARD WINS 12-2 Well despite the scoreline there were some very close battles that literally could have gone either way. No one in HG underestimated SIA and we got the match we were expecting. It was played in the best of spirits, and everyone contributed positively to the overall game. Again if I haven't mentioned everyone - sorry - I have a hard enough time remembering if I've got work tomorrow (note to self - check if you have work tomorrow). Seriously, on behalf of HG - thanks very much SIA. I'm sure I speak for everyone when I say it was a pleasure to play you and I wish more people would play with your sort of ethics (ie get on and play the game without abusing people or trying to annoy them!). A special thanks to Mistress for organising your team - nice to see you guys had better support than we did! Thanks to Ax for Consoling - it also explains why you dissappeared on me! Also a HUGE thanks to Sadu for his time and his server. Without the server this would have been a whole lot harder and a whole lot less enjoyable Later all Soze {SIA} thank Keyser soze for our match report with Home Gaurd! We also would like to thank the Home Gaurd boys for a most enjoyable nights gaming, also a very big thanks to all the {SIA}girls for their spirit and deication in Battle!! {SIA} would like to give a very big thank you to Sadu for giving a night up and also for administering the server!!